No on 1080!

August 26th 2026

The Six-Litre Slip: Council Rejects Attractant Bylaw Amid Fears of Train-Hopping Rats and Bear Super-Sniffers

SICAMOUS, BC — In a stunning and brief turn of events at Wednesday’s Committee of the Whole meeting, the District of Sicamous council effectively halted the progress of the highly anticipated Wildlife Attractant Bylaw No. 1080.

The proposed regulations were aimed at reducing human bear conflicts by forcing residents to secure bird feeders, and fallen fruit. However, council opted to reject the bylaw in its current form, favoring community education over strict fines.

But if you ask our very own reporter, “Legs,” he might tell you a different story. Or at least, he tried to.

The Hydration Downfall

Wanting to make sure Sicamous Local News gave local residents proper representation, we sent “Legs” down to Council Chambers at 446 Main Street. Naturally, he was incredibly nervous about speaking during the public feedback portion of the meeting being a random volunteer we selected(only person available).

To prevent his throat from going Sahara under the bright chamber lights, we gave him a simple piece of advice: stay hydrated.

“Legs” took that advice to a biblical scale, chugging an impressive six litres of water ahead of the 1:00 p.m. assembly.

As any local plumber could have predicted, nature eventually came calling with a vengeance. Right as the council moved to a critical debate and a swift vote to reject further reading of the bylaw, “Legs” was forced to make a desperate dash down the hall to the washroom.

Speaking to a Closed Case

Emerging from the facilities relieved but entirely oblivious to the fact that the vote had already concluded in his absence, Legs confidently marched up to the microphone.

Believing the debate was still very much alive, he launched into our passionately prepared, hard-hitting speech. Though he admitted afterwards that he had to paraphrase heavily because his “stomach was in his throat”, his intended message struck right at the heart of the district’s policy contradictions.

“Legs” was supposed to tell the council:

“We have heard from staff and council that the district’s preferred approach to human wildlife conflict is community education. However, when we look at the actual text of this proposed bylaw, there is a total disconnect between those words and what is being proposed. This bylaw does not outline a single concrete step, framework, or budget for community education. Instead, it jumps straight to escalating fines, enforcement, and expanded property entry powers.

The reality is that the district already has the legal mechanism to deal with attractants and vermin through our existing Good Neighbour Bylaw No. 1005. If fines and enforcement were the magical solution to keeping bears out of our yards, the existing rules would have already solved the issue. Perhaps it is that the issue is being greatly exaggerated. Double downing on an enforcement heavy approach with a brand new bylaw is just repeating the same tactic and expecting a different result.”

He intended to close his speech with a direct challenge on behalf of our newsroom and local taxpayers:

“True community compliance comes from collaboration, not coercion. If council’s priority is genuinely education, the question I am here today to ask on behalf of the Editor at Sicamous Local News and many concerned residents is: Will you commit to pausing this bylaw and rewriting it so that it legally mandates a proactive, community funded education program, including free wildlife proofing resources and a mandatory warning phase before an officer is ever permitted to step onto a resident’s private property? Could we not actually fund and try the education you say you prefer, rather than passing another heavy handed enforcement tool like the one that is clearly not working in the neighbouring community of Revelstoke.”

The council members listened politely to the powerful critique, despite the minor detail that they had already killed the motion minutes prior.

Forget the Bears—The Rats are Playing Train Games

Interestingly, the timeline wasn’t the only thing that went off the rails. While the draft bylaw was initially sparked by bear safety, a massive portion of the council’s actual debate discussion was about the town’s ongoing rodent problem. Under Bylaw 1080, “wildlife” covers everything from grizzlies down to rats.

Residents in attendance quickly pointed out that bears are the least of our worries, rats are the real masterminds. According to testimonies, local rats have been hitching free rides into town via the CP Rail tracks. Literally hopping and switching train cars as if they were playing complex “train games” to infiltrate the municipality.

“Rats are clever, you can’t trap them,” noted one exasperated resident, pointing out that if large cities like Vancouver can’t fix their rat crisis, a brand new Sicamous bylaw certainly won’t scare them off.

Furthermore, residents argued that a bear bylaw is futile because local grizzlys possess almost supernatural biological tracking abilities. “A bear can smell a single can of diet pop sitting inside your car from 30 kilometres away,” argued another local. A $500 fine isn’t going to stop a nose like that.

The Great Stray Cat Conspiracy

Our very own “Legs” later chimed in with a historical perspective that turned heads. He suggested to our news room that our modern rat epidemic didn’t start with un-defended bird feeders. It began when the district rounded up all the local stray cats a while back, leaving a massive vacancy in the local feline security forces. Its all part of the curbside trash pick up conspiracy.

To solve the resulting rodent boom, we came up with some suggestions that we think are highly creative. While one group of residents proposed a more direct business venture: simply hiring professional rat eating dogs to sweep through the district and clear the streets. We here at Sicamous Local News think deploying wave after wave of predatory animals with the hope that a harsh Shuswap winter would eventually kill off the final apex predators is the preferable option.

Between train hopping rodents, bear noses, and the lurking threat of Shuswaggi, our legendary giant sturgeon out in Shuswap Lake, council chambers agreed there are far too many creatures to keep track of to justify another heavy handed enforcement tool.

What Actually Happens Now?

Humorous reporting mishaps and predatory eco warrior proposals aside, Legs and the concerned residents he spoke for technically got exactly what they wanted. The rejection means the draft bylaw will not move forward in its current state.

For now, the District will stick to its current strategies under the Good Neighbour Bylaw No. 1005 and encourage voluntary compliance rather than deploying bylaw enforcement officers to check your car for diet soda.

As for Legs? Were not sure he’s reporter material but we’re gonna keep him around anyway.

Editors Note: Legs stated he wasn’t sure what the status of the wildlife attractant bylaw was, but was told after the meeting in the grocery store that it was not going to move forward.

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