November 1st, 2026 – Sicamous, BC
The history of Sicamous was written last night as the Sicamous Local News field department official awards committee took to the streets to distribute our first ever handcrafted Halloween trophy and a pair of lifetime achievement awards. While we initially envisioned a night of community triumph and artistic reverence, our first foray into the holiday decoration circuit revealed a dark, psychological truth about local seasonal accolades.
Determined to avoid slipping into the dark side of awards ceremonies there is one very significant truth we must acknowledge. Awards ceremonies are vastly more important to the people handing them out than to the fine citizens actually receiving them. Recipients of awards have already completed their hard work, they do not need the accolades of their peers to feel self satisfaction for their accomplishments. If anything, what they need is rest and to not have to give up their time on the weekend to be given a meaningless symbolic gesture. For that reason we did not feel the need to heavily document the occasion. We did not make the recipients of what we’ve decided were gonna call “Scoopys”, waltz across a stage to pick up their “Scoop”. We did not make them listen to a twelve minute speech. We did not give the Mayor an opportunity to speak, we did not invite our Member of Parliament and our MLA’s invitation did not get lost in the mail.
The lack of ceremony began when we stepped out into the crisp autumn air with our, beautifully artisan-crafted trophies in hand. In a display of zero-budget efficiency, the trophies were distributed this year entirely on Spruce st, we patted ourselves on the back and called it a night.
Details? Sure. In a deeply unceremonious fashion, we attempted to avoid the logistical nightmare of a coordinated flash mob roving the town, but for some strange reason one had formed on Spruce st anyway. It’s like there was a celebrity there or something. Through the crowds the Sicamous Local News awards committee spotted their target recipients, ignored the mobs and opted for a swift hand-off that closely resembled a specialized 4×100 baton pass. Trophy possession was transferred, certificates were awarded.
Sticking to Sicamous Local News guidelines on name disclosure of private citizens, all we can say is the lifetime achievement award for both the Fattest Pumpkin in the recorded history of Sicamous and The Fattest Jack-O-Lantern carved in the same recorded history of Sicamous were delivered. A good time was had by all.
Not gonna lie, we’re gonna miss having that trophy sitting around the office. We may never get to make another Fattest Pumpkin in the Recorded History of Sicamous Trophy. We do challenge local residents to give us that opportunity again!
With just the Best Halloween House 2026 trophy left, the true spectacle of the night lay in the local demographic of contestants. As we navigated Spruce street, we could not help but notice a distinct vibe from certain unqualified households. There was a palpable, frantic energy radiating from properties that clearly did not possess the actual best house, but desperately wanted the public to believe they did.
It became instantly clear that these eager homeowners were not striving for decorative excellence or artistic integrity. They just wanted the plastic and wood validation to run a highly successful campaign of community deception. It is an interesting psychological phenomenon: the deep, burning desire to trick your fellow neighbors into thinking you are the undisputed champion of Halloween decor, without actually putting in the work to secure the title, while those deserving are rather melancholy about it.
Fortunately, the Sicamous Local News awards committee remained entirely unbothered by these attempts at seasonal fraud. We had received a tip prior to the commencement of the evening’s events about a strong candidate further down Spruce to receive the award. Having already delivered our lifetime achievement awards on Halloween Street(Spruce) we made our way to the home of the suspects and surveyed the place from a distance.
Two guards stood out front measuring what the Awards Committee estimated to be anywhere from 12 to 30 feet tall. Wearily we made our way to a tent set up in the driveway. Top tier goods supplied to neighbourhood children? Check. Ambient haunting vibe? Check. Erie unsettling lights? Check. Shredded spooky black fabric draped entry leading to a maze of terror? Check.
To the left side of this residence tucked away in the corner of the drive way a truly terrifying experience had been prepared. Slipping through a dark entryway gave us this back room of an abandoned mine sort of vibe. Several critters watching and waiting to pounce, lost souls cackling in madness. This did not appear to be an all ages inflatable haunt. This was quality film special effects precision. To be honest, we didn’t like it there. Between a deep seeded fear of tommy knockers and silicosis, the dust demon, we just bolted our way through.
We’re not sure at what point we exited the mine or if we were even in a mine at all, but we quickly found ourselves surrounded by corn.
Making way through the makeshift field we arrived at a dark dreary carnival full of smiling contortionists and acrobats.
Probably not the coolest place if you’re uncomfortable around clowns. Our team loves to clown around so we stopped to share some jokes and catch our breath after sprinting through the mine and field.
Like any circus we found behind closed doors these traveling entertainers were carrying with them their fallen flying trapeze artist brethren. One carnie folk was found to be infinitely stuck mid performance gone wrong.
We were amazed how Circus folk remember and honor their dead while simultaneously astounded and unnerved. On the way out we were shown the circus folk oracle where they commune with the dead and apparently this is the way fallen circus folk prefer it.
We’re not sure we trusted the crystal ball though. One thing we did trust was our gut, and our gut said we did not need to see another single house in the community to know that this was the winner of the best decorated Halloween house in Sicamous 2026.
On exit we asked the lad who had directed us into the haunt where the home owner was to which he replied “It’s just me and the boys here running things, do you want to drink?” Frightening yet hospitable, we liked that, but declined the offer for a drink(probably a Fanta). Seeing as this fella asserted himself in charge we awarded him the trophy. Another local resident we were more familiar with was quick to step in and inform us he would assure the trophy made it to the proper recipients. We assumed he meant the home owners and not someone he felt more deserving…
With judgement complete, our handcrafted trophies should find their rightful owners, the history books have been updated, and to the houses that tried to bluff their way to victory, we say: better luck next year.
Editors Note: To be fair we did end up driving around the community to make sure we had made the right decision and our instincts did appear to be correct. Last thing, it was us. We gave your children garlic, Trick or Treat!
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Climb Around and Find Out: Why Replace a Perfectly Good Playground?
Sicamous, BC – October 28th 2026
