Street Beat: They Were Stealing Our Playground

October 21st, 2026 – Sicamous, BC

“Legs” was on his way home from his night job when he stumbled across an active criminal conspiracy. Assailants were literally digging up the playground at Finlayson Park. Never afraid to institute a little vigilante justice, Legs was quick to pull over, apprehending the would-be thieves in various forms of headlocks, full nelsons, and half nelsons.

Legs could tell they were feeling his holds as they belted out in pain. In the kerfuffle, the thieves were shouting their excuses at the sky because Legs was clearly not going to listen to a gang of low-life playground stealers. Through the chaos, he did hear them yell, “We paid for this playground” and “We’re taking it to a camp.”

Not bloody likely. What kind of work camp employs children who need access to a playground?

Then, finally, “Legs” clued in. They were not taking it to a work camp, but a youth camp. While this did seem like a nice gesture from the thieves—kind of Robin Hood-esque “Legs” did not feel like Sicamous was the rich entity to be stolen from.

When the RCMP finally arrived, they were not there because of the theft of a playground. Apparently, there had also been an assault reported in the park that day. With police on the scene, Legs relented and released his grip on the would-be thieves.

The RCMP stayed at the scene, helping “Legs” get to the bottom of the situation. He thought this was kind of weird because he did have everything under control. If someone was assaulting someone, that probably should have taken priority. However, “Legs” realized there is more than one cop in town and he was grateful to have the help.

The would-be thieves made their case to the RCMP. Apparently, they had paid someone—not sure who—for the playground and were indeed preparing to move it to Gardom Lake Bible Camp.

The story goes that this particular playground was installed back in 1998. Now over 25 years old, it had been deemed by the District of Sicamous to be lacking modern standards, and it did not adhere to the Accessible British Columbia Act. Something about it being difficult to push wheelchairs through six inches of gravel.

“Legs” immediate thought was: I am over 25 years old. Does that mean I am no longer safe and I fail to meet the Accessible British Columbia Act?

No, that could not be the case. Legs appears to be aging like fine wine. He is totally grounded in reality, safe for all, and anyone who wants access to “Legs” is free to reach out to him via our corporate email channels or, for a more personal touch, they can just message him on Facebook.

Twenty-five years old seems hardly like a good reason to replace a perfectly functioning playground. Besides, if someone needed a new playground, wouldn’t it be Malakwa? Turns out Legs was wrong again. Malakwa has a fully upgraded playground right down by the fire hall.

The one you see at the school is more like an heirloom playground for bigger kids of a different time, when danger was part of the excitement of play.

After a major showdown, the RCMP eventually asked “Legs” to leave. Reluctantly, “Legs” complied, in disbelief that the RCMP were not going to press charges and were going to allow the thieves to continue with their removal of the playground.

“Legs” later said he suspected that it was playground manufacturers who established the standard of what a safe playground is to extort communities into feeling like they have no option but to replace the equipment. When communities like Sicamous do not comply, they send in the thieves.

When your community’s place of play is stolen right in broad daylight, sanctioned by the RCMP, the community is left with no choice but to cough up $140k for a new playground. While Legs felt hollow and defeated by corporate regulation seeping into his community, he did admit he looks forward to seeing the new playground the community will inevitably end up installing.

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